Start by showing up…and keep showing up

Recently, I became acutely aware of the importance of simply “showing up” to begin the process of relationship building. Debwewin Oakville is a Truth of the Land initiative of the Oakville Community Foundation (OCF) and has worked for the last few years to promote the Treaties held by the Mississauga of the Credit First Nation. To foster and continue their relationship, Debwewin and the Mississauga’s jointly hosted a community event on the First Nation to celebrate the signing of the Treaties. Gifts were exchanged, and the evening was filled with food, laughter, and entertainment. While this event highlights the importance of reciprocity in relationships, it also highlights that being present is a key element in beginning relationships.

I attended the event with my cousin and a colleague. As we worked our way around the room meeting people and greeting friends, it struck me how often our Indigenous hosts asked both of my guests if they had met before. Both were able to quickly identify those times in the past their paths had crossed, even if they had not spoken or met at these events. In fact, my colleague Jordan, had been to a Treaty signing report launch earlier in the week and almost everyone noted that they recognized him from that event. It was a great starting point for a more robust conversation. Jordan’s “showing up” was noted and appreciated by the community. Here’s what he had to say about his experience,

“As someone whose lived in Halton most of my life and worked in the region for many years, it was very encouraging to see both the Oakville and MCFN community come together to recognize and celebrate treaty relationships. When people recognized me from attending the Oakville Treaty Day event held earlier in the week, that really emphasized to me the importance of showing up and putting relationships first. There’s no reconciliation and no honoring of treaty responsibilities without strong person to person and Nation to Nation relationships.”

“Showing up” may mean you have to be brave and show courage to step outside of your comfort zone. You may be the minority in many Indigenous hosted events and must sit quietly, respectfully observe, and sit with your uncomfortableness. This is where deep learning begins. It may not take you long to make the connection between how you are feeling out of place and how Indigenous people have been made to feel for decades.

A good friend of mine, non-Indigenous, shared her experience of uncomfortableness with being an outsider to the community. My friend is strongly committed to learning the Truth and taking meaningful steps of Reconciliation. Her family regularly engages in hard discussions about how Indigenous people have been treated and have gone out of their way to find Indigenous vendors to provide goods in their renovation projects. I gifted my friend a ribbon skirt to honour her deep and abiding commitment. Not always an easy thing to wear when you’re not Indigenous; cultural appropriation is real.

As the story goes, my friend attended a rally to honour Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. She had to make her way to an Indigenous community agency that was unknown to her. The Indigenous ladies were making signs and banners for the rally and while acknowledging her, did not ask her to participate in what they were doing. She also had brought a gift of food with her which was not really acknowledged either. She sat there, wondering if she was doing the right thing by even being there. It took some time but eventually she was included at the sign making table. When it was time to walk to the rally, my friend was humble, found a place in the back, wearing her ribbon skirt, and had a profoundly moving experience. She will show up the next time and the time after that. She may even volunteer at the center. She knows that even though she was uncomfortable, sitting with that feeling provided her with insight into the realities Indigenous people must face in non-Indigenous institutions. Sitting quietly with humility led to her eventually being included.  “Showing up” matters.

How can you “show up”? Attend Indigenous community events is a start. You can find these on Indigenous media websites such as WindSpeaker and Two Row Times. Follow Social Media sites of the First Nations in your territory. There are Indigenous Facebook groups in most areas that post events. Visit and tour Indigenous community centres to learn about what services they offer. It is indoor pow wow season; all are invited. Make the effort to find out what is happening in your community and then “show up” and keep showing up!

Originally published on Our Kids Network Blog